Mr. Right is hard to find, why?

It is so hard for a women to find a good man to marry, say many people, including those hosting radio shows, dining in restaurants and sighing in Internet. Many single women, at their late 20's and early 30's, have gloomy hopes for marriage. There are a lot of reasons for being single, some personal and others social. One general argument is that there are fewer men than women living in Hong Kong, and that inevitably would leave some women behind, unmarried. The dismal logic follows that women now have to compete more desperately for men's love, or they will end up being single. No, i don't think so. The whole argument is wrong.

The so-called "men-and-women imbalance" exists but it is irrelevant.

2006 Population By-census offers statistics that shed new lights on this subject.

Women exceeded men by 320,000. That is a shocking number, meaning that for every 100 women, there are only 91 men -- leaving behind nine women. However, a closer look into the statistics shows those women "in excess" don't belong to the "battlefield". Those women are mostly widows and married women.

There are many widows due to the fact that women live longer than men. Probably most of these widows are elderly. Widows exceeded widowers by 240,000 in 2006. The gap is widening, as the general population gets older.

Married women exceeded married men by 34,000 last year. That's probably because many men are now working in the mainland as Hong Kong businesses, mainly manufacturing, have moved across the border.

Out of the 320,000-wide gap between men and women, 270,000 were widows and married women. Taking this number out of the balance, the number of men will rise to 97 for every 100 women -- the gap is much closer. (The gap still contains a lot of divorced and separated women in excess of corresponding men. Of course, divorced and separated women are available for marriage. But if we further narrow our scope to single people only, the balance will close to even. For every 100 single women, there were 99 single men.)

If there are almost as many young men as young women available for marriage, what causes the pain for finding Mr. Right?

Ironically, for men, find a good wife seems to be just as challenging. For every 100 men, there were 34 bachelors. For every 100 women, only 31 were never married. Finding a right spouse is hard for both men and women. And it seems harder today than yesterday, if we look at the raw data only.

In 1996, for every 100 women aged at 40-44, only nine were never married. In 2006, the number went up to 17. For men aged at the same range, that was 10 in 1996, and 18 last year. Is finding a good spouse really harder than before? Many people think so. But i doubt that.

The By-census report shows some interesting insights -- the sizes of households are getting smaller. In 1996, 33 people formed 10 households. Last year, only 30 people made 10 households. Apartment flats are now less crowded.

i believe that people have the choice not to get married. The choice is less likely available in the past.

Pressure from parents' is weakening over decades. i suspect that parents' pressure depend on the living environment. In the past, some twenty years ago, a typical household was crowded, containing six to seven people. Parents' pressure for the siblings to form their own families was strong.

Now, the household is less crowded. The siblings are either few or living separately without getting married. Parents' pressure is weaker. Practically, no matter what causes it, parent's pressure is weaker when parents and children live separately and seldom see each other.

Another pressure is financial. More and more women work. Last year, 480,000 women aged at 25-34 were either working or finding jobs, surpassing 430,000 men. The chances are girlfriends and wives are paying the dining bills. The financial pressure weakened as long as the income is evenly distributed between men and women. If men continue to lose jobs, the pressure to get married will build up again, but then the pressure will shift towards the men's side.

In the past, great pressures were there to urge you marry someone, good or bad. Now the pressure is softer. Finding a good man or woman has never been easy. The good thing today is -- if you can't find anybody good, you will not be forced to hurry and marry someone worse.

Don't worry. Women do not outnumber men. Women are not at a disadvantage. Men have their headache finding good women, too. Men should understand that they are not as rare as they might have thought.
Men and women get older. Median age for Hong Kong men was 41 and women 37. Don't waste time.

Copyright Quam